Me Too. These two words have been flooding my news feed the last 24 hours. Each one I see, I haphazardly “like”. An effort in solidarity? A triggered response? I tossed and turned all the night trying to figure out my feelings. The more I’ve mulled, the angrier I’ve felt. Not at the women sharing their truth. I feel nothing but love and hope when witnessing their bravery. They give me strength with each story they tell.
The truth is I don’t need a social media hashtag to remind me of the sexual assault epidemic. I already know the numbers. The stats don’t lie. Well actually, they do. That’s because the majority of women don’t report, which means the scary AF numbers are actually scarier than we want to admit. In fact, I would argue that almost all women have experienced some form of sexual harassment or assault. Those that claim they haven’t either A.) still blame themselves as the patriarchy has taught them to do, or B.) voted for Trump. And let’s be real, A & B are one in the same.
No, my anger lies in the why. Why don’t women report? Because the men that grab them by the pussy fucking run this nation. Because their pain is brushed off as locker room talk. Because this culture doesn’t hold sleazy dick bags accountable for their actions. No, in a twisted turn of events, the women being assaulted are the ones to blame. That’s the reality of rape culture. A victim blaming cluster fuck of epic proportions where instead of holding perpetrators accountable, rape is just brushed off as another dumb girl making poor choices.
Yet here we are, the women being grabbed and degraded and dehumanized, posting “me too” for change. Well you know what? I want to see some fucking men blowing up my feed. Women can shout all day long that their bodies are not something to be controlled and abused, but the real change takes place when men step the fuck up and say I don’t stand for this bullshit either.
When men decide to say, hey dude, locker room talk is not a fucking thing. If you talk like that, well we can’t be friends. When men decide to say, hey dude, that joke isn’t fucking funny. You’re a weirdo for telling it. When men decide to say, hey dude, taking advantage of women is super fucked up and makes you look like a pathetic sad sack of a man.
Come on good men, I know you are out there. I married one of you. I know you can do this. I know you have women in your life you love and respect. I know those women love and respect you for being good. Well it’s time for you to show up more. It’s time to hold your peers accountable and nip this shit in the bud. While I posted “me too” as a sign of solidarity, I’m also asking men to come up with their own campaign for change. Dear men, it’s your turn. Your mothers, sisters, daughters, and friends need you to say “me too”, too.