I’m jumping into another #MotherhoodMonday hosted by The Mother Blog. This weeks topic is Motherhood Motivations. I think this could inspire a mama to chatter in a number of different directions, but the first thing that popped in my brain when I saw the theme was friendship.
I have a pretty solid group of left-hand friends. Ya know, those ladies that you can count on one hand (your left hand specifically I guess). The ones who mail you Reese’s peanut butter eggs at just the exact moment you needed them and/or have been in close proximity to any number of your bodily fluids. Ride or die chicks some would say. Which really is a conundrum cause while I get the sentiment, I don’t think you’d really die for her. Maybe just fight a B for her instead.
Someone told me the other day, “you have such a glamorous life.” Last I checked I don’t have a sex tape turned reality TV empire that made me famous. If I did then I’d be crying because my glam squad quit instead of crying because tiny human hostages denied me a shower the last 3 days. Whatever the case, she was saying this in response to a girls night I was having and I promise you it was far from glamorous. If anything it were a necessity for my sanity and more importantly my mothering.
I’m not gonna lie, last week was an emotionally exhausting roller-coaster ride for me. I’ll spare you the details, but when I’m feeling that way, it’s my left-hand chicks that get me through. My husband is fully aware that while he is in fact my best friend and also provides all the support in the world to me, there’s something about sipping wine with a lady friend in our sweat pants that he just can’t provide. Last week was just one of those weeks where I needed an extra dose of lady love. This means I didn’t have just one girls night, but TWO! One of which included a sleepover circa 1997. Ok maybe, I do have a glamorous life.
Here’s the thing though, mama friendships are a HUGE motivator for me. I’m a mediocre mama at best, but without a support system of other women I would completely and utterly fail at mothering. I’m about to get uncomfortably real for one whole second. Motherhood has been one of the loneliest experiences of my life. Overwhelmingly lonely. We are mothering in a culture of I’m better. A culture of you’re doing it wrong. A culture of constant comparisons and high expectations. A culture of keep quiet and don’t fail. It’s exhausting.
I feel like the reality of it all makes things even worse for mothers. It almost silences us in a way. Creates an internal dialogue we are too scared to say outwardly. For fear of being judged or shunned or marked with a big fat Scarlet B for bad mother. The good news is if you have a tribe of solid mama friends, you can say that scary shit in your brain and they will love you anyway. More often than not, they will actually like mega love you and whisper an Amen under their breath as they thank the heavens they aren’t the only one.
The thing about all of this is mamas are human and humans are majorly flawed. Humans are also wired for connection so seeking friendship and building and nourishing those handful of women that inspire you and make you feel good will only motivate you to give more in other parts of your life. Which is exactly why friendship keeps me going. It keeps me mothering at my fullest potential. I don’t have to do this alone. I won’t do this alone. Cause those ride or die chicks got my back (and a glass of Reisling on standby) anytime I need an extra dose of motivation.
BTW, if you haven’t found your mama tribe, don’t fret. This mama has an online dating mommy service in the works (not really, but her shit will guaranteed make you laugh).
Don’t forget to check out all the other mamas participating this week:
Lisa W. http://www.themotherblog.com
Lindsey http://www.moderatemomma.com/ …