You can sleep when you’re dead

My husband said this the other day while trying to convince me to have more kids. Nice try my man, but that’s a big fat stupid lie. First off, I’ll be dead and that’s not the same as sleeping. And secondly, I need sleep so I can LIVE! I am a terrible human being when sleep deprived. I’m grumpy and mean and unload dirty dishes. Not only do I act my worst, I look a hot shitty mess. Dirty hair, bags under my eyes, and always freshly un-showered. How the hell does my husband want to keep making babies with me?

When you’re sleep deprived you re-wash the same load of clothes everyday for a week. Poor kid.

Whatever the case, sleep deprivation is no joke. You can find countless articles on not only the benefits of sleep, but also the biological need for humans to catch some z’s. Like for reals, they say driving tired is as bad as driving under the influence, but it’s ok for me to keep two humans alive while under the influence of zero sleep? That blows my mind.

cloud, surrounded by phrases describing the positive benefits of sleep ___Sleep is awesome!

Speaking of the benefits of sleep, lets talk about how much more we slept with just ONE tiny human. For starters, we had a kid that actually enjoyed closing his eyes. Dude started sleeping 10-12 hours overnight somewhere around 4 months and we didn’t do anything to get him there. He just started sleeping one day. No CIO, no special routine or bedtime trick, just a baby that loved his parents. His sleep wasn’t limited to nighttime either. He napped regularly and was comfortable sleeping pretty much anywhere. Case in point:


So you think that would make for happy parents who never complained about being tired right? Um no. Instead I was complaining cause my only kid woke up at 7am after going to bed at 7pm. What an idiot. With one kid I spent nap time doing laundry or cleaning. These days there’s always a load of mildewing laundry in my machine and a clean house? What’s that? But seriously, I should have been sleeping when my ONE baby slept. We thought we knew what exhausted felt like, but we had no clue of the wrath of Rowan that would be our future. If we had known ahead of time, we would have kept our mouths shut and celebrated the amazingness of our sleep filled lives. Silly parents.

Fast forward to today and we’ve got two of those munchkins. One that sleeps, the other not so much. Sleep when the baby sleeps? Yes please! But wait, now the baby is sleeping while my toddler is running around like a crazy lunatic. Well shit, with two you can’t follow that same rule. Why oh why didn’t we take advantage before???

6tag-257796167-884247433864954272_257796167                                                               She’s faking.

So 8 months in and we’ve had enough. It’s time to get this girl sleeping before we both die a slow sleep deprived death. Cue sleep consultant. Yes, we paid actual Benjamin’s to a lady that claims she can change our lives for the better. This may not be for everyone and it seems many a folks have wondered why we’re incapable of fixing our sleeping woes on our own, but this is the path that fit our needs best and we are right in the thick of some good ole sleep training. No worries, I’ll post more on that adventure soon. Until then, I hope your littles follow this advice:

Namastay in bed

You can also sleep when you’re alive.

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